Plastic surgery victim Maxine Bendix tries her luck at a local beauty contest and the ladies darts team hold a very special auction in their club. TV-obsessed Carol hopes an out-of-control dog may help her dreams come true. Tom Cruisin's tour of England continues, hopeless Margaret is attacked by a swarm of bees in the ladies campsite and Barnsley's best vampire slayers attempt to attack a postman.

The Darters leave the safety of their club and hit the road for a mystery trip in Tony's very special caravan, while Tom Cruisin takes his bodyguards to a chippy for lunch so they can all sample a traditional saveloy sausage. Balding bachelor Don Peacock has a shocking visit from the Child Support Agency and the Shut Up Family go on the hunt for fresh duck.

The ladies who love to watch uneducated men horsing around make a shocking discovery in the countryside. Darter Anne leaves captain Paula speechless on her birthday and the duck and chip loving family come face to face with arrogant estate agent Pete Wade. Carol finally ties the knot with long suffering partner Dennis and Maxine pops the question to a very old friend.