Gorgeous barman Alex rejects Michelle because she's vain, so Michelle determines to win him back by becoming the ugliest woman in Manchester. To overcome his obsession with Michelle, Grant vows to go home to Swansea, but he is hijacked on his way to the station by Michelle's deranged boss, Rachel. Chris prepares to take out his sexual frustrations on a watermelon.

When Grant's new lover Rachel demands that he stop seeing Michelle, Michelle enlists the help of a blow-up sex doll to persuade Grant to confront her and gets fired. Chris discovers that being engaged makes him a love god, but when he refuses to buy Claire a ring she finds herself slipping back into her slutty old ways.

When Michelle tries to get her old job back at Glo gym her boss Rachel relegates her to the position of towel girl, so Michelle resorts to a novel interview technique to get a job as Grant's PA. Chris takes Claire to meet his parents and discovers that they share a revolting secret.