Between a Dad managing a 4th Division football club and friends ditching him for being camp, Alan wants to change. Should he go against his instincts and become a footballer?

Christine is desperate for Graham to take her on a night out. At school Alan is struggling to hide who his dad is from bullies - and there's the dread of communal showers looming.

Graham's woes extend off the pitch and Alan gets the acting bug, but Christine is worried when he comes home from school with a black eye. How did he get it and from whom?