When Scudworth names Joan principal for the day, she tries to win her former friends back with an exclusive in-school soiree … that soon gets out of hand.

On Valentine's Day, Confucius and Joan pretend to be a couple to make Harriet jealous. Meanwhile, Abe fields dating advice from JFK, and Scudworth faces off with an old nemesis.

It's Clone High Ski Week, and Confucius and Joan find themselves harboring an awkward secret that threatens the precarious state of Avalanche Mountain. After getting a spicy text, Abe squares off with Born-Again-Virgin JFK. Cleo reconsiders her future.