When, in a playful attempt to spice up his marriage, Gracen asks Leila whom she fantasizes about sleeping with, she answers "Laird," which creates an issue between Gracen and his best friend.

Leader-of-the-pack Laird loses his stud status when he learns his sperm count is low and Gracen's is high. Meanwhile Dougie is reduced to doing manual labor for Aubrey to score a spot in a pre-school, and Marmaduke navigates the modern day world of bartering.

Laird hooks up with his hot but crazy ex-wife, Joannifer, who disrupts all of the carpoolers' lives. Meanwhile, Dougie and Cindy decide to renew their wedding vows to wipe out the memory of their catastrophic first wedding ceremony.