Laird pretends to be married to impress a girl who's into married men, Dougie believes Aubrey is having an affair when he sees him sneaking into a motel, and Marmaduke suspects that Laird is his father.

When, in a playful attempt to spice up his marriage, Gracen asks Leila whom she fantasizes about sleeping with, she answers "Laird," which creates an issue between Gracen and his best friend.

Leader-of-the-pack Laird loses his stud status when he learns his sperm count is low and Gracen's is high. Meanwhile Dougie is reduced to doing manual labor for Aubrey to score a spot in a pre-school, and Marmaduke navigates the modern day world of bartering.