Baffled human wreck Dan Ashcroft watches in horror as his world is over-run with 24 carat berks, led by strutting, brainless cock-of-the-walk Nathan Barley, who has designs on Dan's sister Claire.

Dan is canonised against his will, while Nathan throws a party for his God-defeatingly rubbish website and oozes closer to Claire.

While Dan is plagued by a shrieking twit of a photographer called 15Peter20, Nathan grooms Claire with alcohol and unsolicited breast massage.