While cleaning out the attic, Michael and Joe come across Marie's old diary, and deduce it was written about the time Marie was expecting Joe. After reading a few pages, Joe gets the assumption that Marie was having an affair with a neighbor, and thinks he's illegitimate.

The family, tired of Joe's constant bumming of rides because he doesn't drive, signs him up for driving lessons, but the instructor they hire turns out to be a psychotic nut who takes Joe hostage during the lesson.

Joe and Jean Claude go overboard to try to impress members of a local cultural society by planning an elaborate dinner party, but they get drunk while tasting wine during the meal preparation and ruin the whole evening.