Russell Spam arrives to take over as editor of the Daily Crucible - which means "promotion" for the previous incumbent, Harry Stringer, to Executive Managing Editor with a new office ... in the lift! So begins the Crucible's slide in to the murky world of tabloid journalism with the first headline - 'Royals in Porno Storm'!

Ace reporter Greg Kettle has uncovered a man proclaiming to be Nikita Krushchev in Switzerland and the Crucible is about to unveil 'Sex Secrets of the Soviets'. Meanwhile, Twiggy Rathbone is being pressured on matters of humanitarian importance by the Prime Minister.

In an effort to keep abreast of their rivals, Russell Spam decides to spice up Page Three - and freak out Harry Stringer in the process! Meanwhile, cub reporter Bill Tytla uncovers the first clues to an international scandal that would put Spam's vivid imagination to shame.